


Wanna Come Home (To You)

by kkeutkaji (minseoqt)



Category: GMMTV
Genre: Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Florist!Lee, Fluff, M/M, Photographer!Tay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26027392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minseoqt/pseuds/kkeutkaji
Summary: Little did Tawan know that he was the one who asked for a lucky charm, but Thanat is the one who got charmed by him instead.
Relationships: Lee Thanat Lowkhunsombat/Tay Tawan Vihokratana, also earthmix if u squint
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	Wanna Come Home (To You)

**Author's Note:**

> from [this brilliant](https://twitter.com/tayramisoo/status/1286834023927439360?s=20) prompt, but i changed it a little hnjdmd anyway this is probably the first fic under leetay/taylee tag (that ao3 has yet to recognize as a tag) so i officially gave birth to them, i am their mother
> 
> title from troye sivan's talk me down

The first time that man comes to the shop, it’s Monday morning.

Monday isn’t a busy day so Thanat takes his time arranging the daffodil and daisy shelves to his liking—because appearance is the key, his boss had always said. He’s always alone at the store until Mix and Win come to work part time in the late afternoon, but morning shift is mostly under control so it’s not a problem.

He’s just about to move to the shelf of red and purple tulip when the bell rings and Thanat straightens his back to welcome the customer. A man with slightly tanned skin steps inside, eyes wandering around the shop to drink as much view as he could. Must be new here, Thanat thinks. He’s wearing an immaculate dark blue suit with his hair pushed back, a typical office worker.

“Good morning,” Thanat flashes him his one million watts trademark smile, “may I help you?”

“Oh, good morning.” The man looks unsure and he avoids Thanat’s gaze to stare at whatever is behind his back. “I, um. This is the only flower shop that’s open within this area,” he says instead. Thanat tries to hold back a laugh because the man’s nervousness is so evident, and he doesn’t even have a reason to be nervous here.

“Yes, we usually open early. Do you want to order a bouquet or something? I can make it quick, depending on your request.”

The man blinks and seems to finally come to his senses, shaking his head. “No, I mean yes I need a bouquet, but it’s not anything fancy, just a couple of flowers please. Purple flowers.”

Purple? That’s rare. People usually come to buy red or pink or white flowers.

“We have some purple flowers here, do you want it randomly or do you have anything specific?”

The man scrunches his nose, thinking. “Do you happen to have a flower that either means good luck or fuck off, in the color purple?”

A snort slips off Thanat’s nose and his lips are stretched in a suppressed smile. “You have a very peculiar request,” he motions to the man to follow him to the shelf on the back. “Heathers mean good luck, admiration, solitude. White heather is mostly used to wish someone good luck, but we ran out of them and it left us with purple. This is the only one I can offer, though.”

“That’s okay, I want six of them,” the man decides. “It’s not like she will notice the difference, anyway,” he continues in a lower tone.

Thanat picks up the flowers and brings them to the desk where he makes the craft. The man follows suit, but he’s more interested in the flowers on display. Thanat lets him look around while he works with the bouquet and finishes it in fifteen minutes.

The man smiles and thanks him, paying for the flowers and walking out of the shop.

***

He comes again on Wednesday.

The sun shines so vigorously outside and it’s already hot and humid at nine in the morning, when Thanat deals with the display outside the shop. He can feel beads of sweat roll down his back, permeated through the fabric of his plain blue shirt. He’s lucky the front of his shirt is covered by his apron, or soon there will be a huge stain of sweat appearing there. That would be unattractive, especially to compare with the man’s crisp-looking suit. It’s grey this time, and he still looks as gorgeous as he was two days ago.

No, Thanat definitely doesn’t particularly remember this person out of his other customers, and definitely doesn’t think of meeting him again.

He smiles at the man, and the smile gets wider when the man recognizes him. “Are you here for another purple flower?”

The man shakes his head, his cheerful demeanor dissipates into thin air as he remembers something unpleasant. “No, it’s yellow this time,” he sighs. “I really hope you have a flower that means fuck off this time.”

“I don’t,” Thanat responds with a laugh. “Aren’t flowers supposed to carry positive messages towards others? You can’t give someone flowers and tell them to fuck off, it’ll ruin the sincerity.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Although I sincerely wish for this person to fuck off, and I’m looking for a nicer way to do that so I won’t get fired,” the man rolls his eyes, a chuckle slips past his mouth despite the burning words. “Anyway, it’s yellow and the underlined message was, not a sunflower. Sorry to bother you.”

“It’s not bothering at all. Come in, I have some recommendations you can choose.”

The man goes with Thanat’s idea to make a mix bouquet with sword lily and bearded iris. The man looks very satisfied with the bouquet and pays Thanat more than the actual price, telling him to keep the exchange.

“See you later,” he says, instead of goodbye. His wide, gummy smile stay inside Thanat’s head for the rest of the day.

***

When the man comes again, it’s Friday.

He’s not wearing a suit this time, just plain jeans and a plaid long-sleeves shirt rolled up to his elbow. Thanat tries so hard not to stare too long for it to be inappropriate.

“Hello,” the man greets him first this time. “I’m back again. Today looks like a pink flower kind of day, doesn’t it?”

Thanat gets up from squatting position as he was busy changing the soil inside the potted plants, smiling at the man before him. “I’ll let you know beforehand that we don’t have any pink flower that means fuck off.”

The man barks a laugh, and that’s adorable. Like really, really adorable. Thanat doesn’t realize how _wide_ he’s been unconsciously smiling until he feels the stretch of muscles of his jaw, and he quickly readjusts his usual expression before the man thinks he’s a creep.

“No, there’s no fuck off flower for today. I’m in a good mood, and my boss wants pink flowers to match her outfit today, so let’s just go with that. Her wish is my command, after all.”

Thanat hums in response, now he understands the situation and why he sees the man multiple times this week. So the flowers are for his boss, his boss is a woman, and her taste is kind of questionable for her to choose flowers based on what color she wears today.

“Does she want something specific, or do you want me to choose randomly? Pink is one of the most common colors in flowers, and different flowers have different meanings.”

“Alice doesn’t understand flowers in general, she just loves them for aesthetic purposes,” the man says with a little frown on his face, like he’s unsure what to do. “She just wants me to get some pink flowers, I think you can make a mix of whatever you have into a bouquet. Oh, have I told you that she loved the yellow bouquet you made last time?”

Thanat can’t fight a smile blooming on his face; customers complimenting his work is his pride. “You haven’t, and thank you. I think I know the style that your boss likes, making another one in a different color won’t hurt.”

“That’s the spirit,” the man nods, smiling wide. “I’m Tawan, by the way. Tay Tawan. I got a feeling that we might see each other often since my boss always wants fresh flowers once every two days, and it will be troublesome to look for another shop.”

“I’m Thanat, Lee Thanat,” Thanat wants to shake hands with him, but his hands are dirty and he’s still wearing his gardening gloves. “The shop will always be happy to welcome another regular customer, so thank you for trusting us with your, uh, boss’ aesthetic property.”

“Aesthetic property,” Tawan repeats and chuckles. “I’ll tell Alice that I’ve met a very talented florist to take care of her peculiar urge to collect flowers without actually growing them. She’ll be happy, and perhaps order a truck of a flower she likes or something next.”

Thanat shrugs, walking up to the vase of pink rose to grab some. “That’s cool. More money for me.”

Tawan laughs again, and perhaps Thanat wants to hear him laugh more often.

***

Mix shoots Thanat with a weird glance when the young man comes to him to ask about watering the cactus, or something. Thanat wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying.

“You’re smiling,” he points out. “You never smile when there’s no customer. Your smile is manufactured by the factory to appear very charming for basically everyone but me and Win.”

Thanat snorts, “That’s bullshit. I smile at you and Win too, when you two aren’t fucking up the numbers of our monthly sales or breaking my vase or forgetting to lock the front door when you left at night.”

“That’s less than five times every month because you don’t trust us,” Win chimes in. He wipes the sweat on his forehead with his hand and ends up smearing soil all over his face. Mix makes a disgusted noise and throws him a handful of tissue.

That’s not entirely true, but it’s also true that Thanat can’t trust the shop completely with the boys when it’s just two of them at the shop. Both are university students and they’re busy, taking care of the shop is probably not their top priority. Thanat had learned the hard way to make sure he kept checking on them after he clocked out just in case, at least until his boss came to the shop himself.

“He was smiling,” Mix tells Win, and the sight is equal to Satan gathering his spawns. “Something must’ve happened when we’re not here.”

“Ooh, interesting,” Win grins. “Come, tell us. Has something good happened? Did you meet a celebrity, or an actor, or someone who you thought might be the love of your life because they caught your attention so quickly although it was your first time meeting them?”

Thanat blinks, the last guess hits too close to home, albeit incorrect in some parts. Love of his life? Impossible. Did Tawan catch his attention quickly? Well, kind of. But anyone would with the way he looked, to be honest. Was it on their first meeting? Not really. Or maybe it was, Thanat just didn’t realize it yet.

“Oh my god, one of them must be it,” Mix gasps. “I can’t believe someone like you is capable of falling in love, Phi.”

“That’s so much coming from someone who’s dating his Teacher Assistant secretly,” Thanat rolls his eyes, grinning victoriously when Mix’s face goes a deeper shade of red. He knows their relationship is not yet public, and it’s not Thanat’s fault that Mix’s boyfriend is his friend in high school and they accidentally met again here when Earth picked his boyfriend after work.

“I think I’ll just go back to work because this topic is clearly not for me,” Win raises both arms in surrender, but he’s smiling. “Listen, I support you both wholeheartedly; Mix and his boyfriend, P’Thanat with his current ongoing crush whoever it is, although I can’t relate much. Good for you. Let’s get back to work, and talk again after we have no customers for the day.”

Thanat laughs and ruffles Win’s hair affectionately. Win is an aromantic, but somehow he’s always involved in every romantic related conversation Thanat and Mix have—because they have no one else, literally—and although he’s never complained, Thanat knows they must draw a line somewhere. Win is still a great listener, though, and he responds to their romantic concern with anything that crosses his mind at the moment, for example, _“Someone is crushing on your boyfriend? Stab them with a scalpel, you use it for work anyway,”_.

When Thanat heads out the shop as the sun sets, he accidentally steps on something at the door—a pink rose petal. He hunches down to pick it up, smiling as it reminds him of Tawan. A jolt of realization hits him and he quickly shakes his head, trying not to think too much about something so uncertain.

No, wanting to see Tawan coming to the shop again does not equal to having a crush on him. It’s all for business, solely for business.

***

That’s what he’d said to himself, but Thanat can’t help but smile extra wide whenever Tawan enters the shop every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. Sometimes he comes in with coffee and sandwich in hand, almost tripping on his own feet for walking hastily to the counter. He always comes with the same gummy smile that Thanat loves to see, always has something to share to him about his office’s shenanigans.

Two months upon knowing Tawan, Thanat knows where he works (it’s the joint office building three blocks from here), what kind of work he does (he’s a photographer working at a creative design company), knows the food he likes and how he likes his coffee, knows that his boss, Alice, is a very talented woman who had built her kingdom from the scratch and that Tawan is one of her most trusted subordinates, along with his best friends Arm and Off.

Tawan has been ordering a set of specific flowers for himself lately, kind of a lucky charm, he says. Because Alice has always been in a good mood every time Tawan goes to work with a bouquet from Thanat’s shop, and Tawan wants that kind of energy to last him a tiring working day.

(Little did he know that Thanat slipped a little bit of feeling between each petal in Tawan’s bouquet, tying them together in a silent hope to keep seeing him, even though Thanat never dares to bring up the topic about them whenever Tawan is around unless Tawan says it himself.

Little did he know that he was the one who asked for a lucky charm, but Thanat is the one who got charmed by him instead.)

***

It’s funny how Win and Mix meet Tawan in the weirdest way possible: it’s almost seven, an hour before closing time. Thanat is still at the shop, doing paperwork his boss passed down to him because he’s busy hunting for plant suppliers to add more things they can sell starting next month in his boss’ office at the back of the shop. The boys are in charge of the front desk and that’s exactly when the bell atop the door rings and Tawan steps inside.

The shop isn’t big and the walls aren’t that thin. Thanat frowns when he overhears speaking voices, one of them he recognizes as Win’s voice. Is he talking to someone? He can’t hear Mix’s voice, but the question answers itself when a few seconds later Mix is knocking on the door and his head peeking inside, “Someone is looking for you,” he says.

Thanat doesn’t welcome his personal guests in his workplace, so he can’t think of anyone. “Who?”

Mix shrugs, “I don’t know. Some guy who seems to expect to see you when he comes here, and because you’re not at the counter, he panicked thinking he went to the wrong shop. You should see when he went in and out of the shop three times to make sure he was at the right place.”

Thanat has his guess, but decides not to get his hopes high. He shuts the laptop in front of him and follows Mix to the front desk, meeting a full-of-relief Tawan and a confused Win.

“Tawan?” Thanat fails to suppress his smile, just like usual. “What are you doing here?”

“Thanat,” Tawan calls his name like it’s the only name he knows. “Oh my god. You’re here. I thought I went to the wrong place.”

Thanat shakes his head, laughing. “I never get to tell you that I’m not the only one working here. This is Mix, and this one is Win, they’re university students who work part-time here. Most of their classes are in the morning, so they won’t start working until late afternoon every weekday.”

Win raises an eyebrow, “You told your customers _that_? Why are you calling your customer by his name? Is he your friend?”

Thanat shushes him with a glare and looks back at Tawan, still smiling. “So, what do you need from here at this time? And today is Tuesday, you aren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.”

“He remembers the time his customer comes here too?!” Win whispers in high-pitch voice and Thanat has to elbow him on the ribs to make him shut up.

“Yeah, I need some new pink azaleas because Off and Mike accidentally threw the whole thing away today, it was Alice’s favorite and she wanted them still on her desk tomorrow. We have an 8 o’clock meeting and it would be too late if I fill in the vase tomorrow morning, she’d notice it first and all of us would be dead.”

Thanat chuckles. The people Tawan works with seem to be as chaotic as him, and perhaps that’s why they work well together. “Okay, wait here while I prepare for the flowers. How much do you need?”

“Ten, no more and no less.”

Thanat can feel Win and Mix’s heavy stares on him but he ignores them until he’s done packing the flowers Tawan needs. He refuses to be paid, “This is me helping a friend, not for business. Take it as my payback for the coffee and sandwich the other day.”

Tawan expresses his gratitude in adorable whimpering noises and a million thank yous, and Thanat still can’t stop smiling even after he’s completely gone. He forgets he’s not alone there until Mix and Win snuggle at each of his sides, curiosity sparkling on their eyes.

“Win, did you see that smile? That must be _the_ person,” says Mix, squeezing Thanat’s arm impatiently. “Am i right, Phi? I must be right. You never look at anyone the way you look at him, and your manufactured smile is not there. It was one hundred percent genuine.”

“You two are closer than I thought,” adds Win. “You know each other’s name, memorize every time he comes here, you seem to know about the people around him, and he even brought you a sandwich and coffee. What’s stopping you from dating him?”

“What dating? He’s been our regular for months now, and we just simply exchanged names like what normal friends do,” Thanat pushes the boys off him and rolls his eyes at Win and Mix’s twinning incredulous stare. “He has a boyfriend, so there’s no way I can date him, at least not now.”

It’s almost funny how the mischievous look on Mix and Win’s faces drops faster than their grades, replaced by a solemn, slightly guilty look. Thanat waves his hand dismissively, doesn’t want the boys to think too much about his love life.

“Nah, I’m fine. It’s always been a one-sided love, after all. I don’t plan to take it anywhere, and I’m happy enough to have him around like this.”

“But you like him,” Win mumbles. “What’s the point of liking someone who doesn’t feel the same about you?”

“I do like him a lot,” Thanat replies. “But you can never force someone to like you if they don’t. Relationships go both ways but feelings sometimes don’t. Either unspoken or spoken, expressed or not, returned or not, love is still love.”

Thanat thinks about it when he goes to sleep that night; the day when he found out Tawan had a boyfriend.

Tawan had visited the shop on Wednesday as usual and asked him to make a bouquet of white and purple orchid as requested by Alice. While Thanat worked on the bouquet, he caught Tawan stopped at the vase of multicolored freesia from the corner of his eyes, touching them gently with his fingertips.

“I want to make another bouquet,” he said to Thanat, face beaming. “I want a bouquet of this, and please make it super pretty.”

“You’re planning to give it to someone special?” Thanat teased.

“Yes,” Tawan looked like he had difficulties containing his happiness inside. “It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today, and I want to surprise him with his favorite flowers.”

Thanat did make the bouquet super pretty, prettier than the one for Alice. He took every gleam of Tawan’s eyes as a present for himself, because at least he had made Tawan that happy although he was thinking of someone else.

Whatever makes Tawan happy will make him happy. Or so he hopes.

***

Working with uni students makes Thanat go through different phases in the span of six months and he has divided the phases into three major categories: 1) Early Bird, when the semester just starts and Mix and Win spend a lot of times at the shop because their classes end early and they prefer to annoy Thanat at the shop than hanging out with their friends; 2) Hell-bent, when exam week is around the corner until it’s finished, where Thanat barely sees them around or they’ll come to the shop only to study because the place is quiet; and 3) Frat Boys, aka when long holiday comes at the end of a semester and Mix and Win will find more reasons to annoy Thanat even more than they usually do, like dragging him into partying.

They’re on Frat Boys phase right now and that’s exactly what Mix has been doing in the past three days, promising Thanat that the party is just him and his boyfriend, also Win and some of their closest friends. Thanat is considered their close friend, and it almost sounds like Thanat is forced to return the honor by coming to the party.

The minus of Frat Boys phase is that Mix and Win will be at the shop early, just like how he already bothers Thanat with the question about going or not going at nine in the morning.

“I can’t promise you anything because I don’t want to break the promise I made, Mix. I really don’t know if I’ll be free this weekend!”

“You don’t look like you’ll make the effort to be free this weekend,” Mix remarks. “Oh come on, Phi, it’s just a party! P’Earth will be there too, I’ll let him keep you company the entire time if you feel uncomfortable to blend in with my friends!”

Thanat stares at Mix, his mouth open. He’s about to make another excuse when a stern and persistent Mix suddenly melts into a warm smile as he gazes at the door, and his boyfriend comes to sight.

 _People in love stink_ , Thanat thinks and turns around but quickly turns back because he thought he saw something and double-checked, and he’s right. Earth isn’t alone, he’s walking side to side with someone, chatting and laughing. Except that someone isn’t just someone, but _Tawan_.

“Hey, Thanat,” Earth greets him casually. “I don’t know that Tay is one of the regulars of your shop.”

“Yeah, he is.” Thanat replies awkwardly, “How did you know him?”

“He’s two years my senior in college, one of the most famous guys in the photography club. I’ve never seen him after his graduation, and it came out as a surprise that his workplace is around here.”

Thanat glances at Mix who slowly takes the information and the glint on his eyes gives him bad feelings.

“That gives me an idea!” He claps enthusiastically, “How about inviting P’Tay to the party as well? He and P’Thanat can come together so P’Thanat will not feel lonely!”

***

Three days later, here Thanat is.

Mix’s party turned out to be more like a private party because not a lot of people are there, but somehow it’s still too much for Thanat. He’d never liked partying, all his friends called him nerd in college because he had never gone to a single party without his friends forcefully dragging him in. This time is no different; Thanat watches a bunch of young kids living their lives to the fullest from the dark corner of the kitchen, sipping on his drink slowly as alcohol makes its way to burn his throat.

“Hey,” someone takes a place beside him, smiling. Thanat returns the smile as he recognizes the person, the only reason why he’s here right now. He couldn’t care less about Mix’s threat to bug him for the rest of his life if he didn’t come, but he couldn’t say no when Tawan had agreed, for some reasons.

“Hey,” Thanat replies. “Are you alone? Where’s Earth?”

“He’s with his boyfriend somewhere in the living room, perhaps. I don’t know. I can barely notice anyone here.”

Thanat snorts, of course Mix will raise his guard around his boyfriend. Earth is extremely popular on Mix’s year and everyone knows him, but everyone doesn’t know he’s already in a relationship. Thanat listens to Mix’s whine about a group of girls hitting on his boyfriend at least five times every month, to which he doesn’t respond each time because Mix will stand against every advice directed to him. Especially when the advice is “make your relationship public so they will stop flirting with him”.

“Do you have fun?” Thanat asks, glancing at the glass on Tawan’s hand. “You didn’t drink yet.”

“I’m being very careful not to get drunk here,” Tawan sheepishly admits. “I’m not really good with parties. I’m awkward and clumsy, I can’t dance, I have low tolerance for alcohol, and I don’t really like loud places.”

Exactly like me, Thanat tells himself. “The same goes for me. No wonder you can find me here.”

“Really?” Tawan widens his eyes in disbelief. “You’re very good with words, you seem to know a lot of people. I thought you’re the type who’d have fun at parties.”

Thanat shakes his head. “My friends called me a nerd because the total amount of me attending parties in college is less than the fingers on my hands can count. I don’t like loud places too, and sometimes people do weird things under the influence of alcohol. It’s not a place I wanted myself to be at, if I had a choice.”

“That’s cool, though.” Tawan sighs, eyes wandering. “You don’t care about what people think about you, and it makes them like you for who you are. Even if you suck at parties, for example.” He pauses to chuckle, and Thanat chuckles too. “You seem to be the type who can be friends with anyone. Younger, older, same ages. You’re the kind of person anyone needs to be their friend.”

Thanat tilts his head, “Are you sure you’re not talking about yourself? I bet everyone likes you a lot too, you’re fun to be with. Ah, and you know how to tell a story to make it interesting, and not everyone can do that. I knew from your stories that the guys you’re working with are nice people. They can’t be nice if you aren’t nice to them as well.”

Tawan fixes his gaze on Thanat. “Do you… remember the things I’ve told you?”

“Of course,” Thanat replies with a little frown on his face, “I remember a lot. About your boss Alice, your best friends Arm and Off, about Mike and Mond, also the twins AJ and JJ whom you can barely tell apart. I can listen to you retelling stories for hours, you know. That’s one of your charming points, don’t you know that?”

Even under the dim light, Thanat can see Tawan’s cheek flush beautifully. “N-no one ever told me that,” he whispers. “Not even my boyfriend.”

 _Unbelievable_ , Thanat grunts. He puts down his glass to cup Tawan’s face with both of his hands, tilting it up to meet his eyes. “You’re beautiful, kind-hearted, loyal, funny, beautiful, smart, amazing, _beautiful_. If people who claim they love you don’t let you know how much you worth with just being you, then they’re not doing it properly.”

Tawan’s eyes glisten with unshed tears and Thanat feels his chest rumble in an unexplainable anger. He lowers his forehead slowly to touch Tawan’s, nudging his nose. “There’s so much I can tell you, about how amazing you are, about the way you should be loved because you deserve it.” He whispers against Tawan’s face, breath mingles with his. “There’s so many things you don’t know about yourself, about how I see you, about how you make me feel.”

Tawan’s eyes stuttering close and Thanat is _so_ close, so fucking close from pressing his lips against Tawan’s lips when he’s pulled back into reality in a second, and realizes that he can’t be doing this. Tawan has a boyfriend, and this is not right.

With a chest as heavy as if tons of brick fall upon him, Thanat resolves it by pressing a kiss on Tawan’s forehead, pulls away and grabs his glass, leaving the scene completely.

The rest of the party is like a blurry slow motion movie for Thanat. He remembers drinking, he doesn’t remember how much, though. He remembers screaming about something, tears streaming down his face and he remembers sobbing on someone’s chest. Maybe Earth, or Mix, or Win. He doesn’t know.

He remembers closing his eyes with Tawan’s glistened eyes tattooed on the back of his eyelids, and he swears, because sad never looks good on Tawan and he loathes the fact that he’s in no position to tell him that.

Fuck unrequited love, Thanat mutters under his breath and everything is pitch black.

***

When Thanat opens his eyes, his vision is swimming and his head fucking _hurts_ like someone is hammering a gigantic nail inside his brain. It takes him almost a whole minute to get up and sit on the bed, and he suddenly realizes that this is not his own bedroom.

“Oh, you’re awake. Mix thought you’re dead and he’s already planning a burial,” says a person that later Thanat recognizes as Earth, standing on the door with a tray of breakfast and hangover meds. “You looked like shit last night, man. Never thought I’d see you so wrecked up, the Thanat I know is always calm and composed.”

Thanat presses the heel of his palm against his throbbing temple. “What did I do?”

“A lot,” Win and Mix pipe in, heads peeping in inside the room. “You were badly drunk and you kissed P’Tay on the lips, started screaming that people didn’t love him properly and that was wrong, and then you cried on Win, telling him how much you loved P’Tay. And yes, everyone pretty much heard that, until P’Earth and I took you upstairs,” Mix supplies unhelpfully.

Thanat thinks it’s better for whoever is hammering a nail inside his head to just strike him dead than to live with such a mortifying event to remember. That, and he fucking kissed Tawan on the lips. Has he lost his mind?

“How about Tawan?” he asked carefully.

“He was a little shocked, but overall he’s fine and he went home safely,” answers Earth after putting the tray on the nightstand. “Eat first, don’t forget your meds. I need to go to the campus but Mix and Win will be here in case you need anything. Win will drive you home after you feel better.”

Thanat nods, “Thanks, bro.”

“Anytime, dude. Just don’t ever get drunk again, especially when you have a lot in your mind. Alcohol is pretty scary sometimes.”

Thanat agrees, and he’ll personally ban alcohol from his life right from this moment on.

Win drives Thanat home after lunch and goes home with Mix who comes to fetch him. Thanat lies on his bed for the rest of the day, convincing himself that things can’t be worse than they are now.

He just hopes for a chance to explain everything to Tawan tomorrow at the shop. If Tawan is going to hate him later, Thanat will live with that.

***

Tawan doesn’t come to the shop on the next day.

He neither comes on Wednesday nor Friday until four weeks later, because someone else—Thanat thinks it’s Off, Tawan’s best friend—takes his place to get a bouquet for Alice on those days. Thanat can’t ask him where Tawan is because he doesn’t know how far the impact of his doing has extended, whether or not someone from Tawan’s workplace has known about it and it’s the reason why Tawan stops coming to the shop.

So he just swallows every question about Tawan and serves his customers with what Mix called is a manufactured smile, because only now does Thanat realize that he can only give his most genuine smile to Tawan.

***

It’s raining a lot that morning, and it’s the third time Thanat gets up from the counter to mop the floor every time a customer walks in and out the shop. The skies are grey and cloudy, how perfect to start a day.

The bell atop the door rings and Thanat turns around to welcome another customer. A man with slightly tanned skin steps inside, eyes wandering around the shop to drink as much view as he could.

Thanat stops on his track, eyes glued at the figure. There’s no way he mistakes that person for someone else, because that person has been appearing in his dream every night, the projection of Thanat’s longing and yearning to have him in his arms.

_Tawan._

Tawan is here, eyes stop wandering when they meet Thanat’s and he smiles. “Hey,” he greets, “Long time no see, Thanat.”

Thanat launches himself to pull Tawan into a hug, despite knowing he’ll regret it later. He’ll deal with the consequence later, he’ll explain everything later. Everything else can wait, but just for this moment he wants to have Tawan for himself, no matter how selfish it may sound.

Tawan lets him be pulled into Thanat’s hug, patting his back gently. “Do you miss me that much?” he asks, voice muffled against the fabric on Thanat’s shoulder.

“Yes,” Thanat breathes, inhaling Tawan’s scent deeply. His body is a little cold due to the rain and Thanat tightens his embrace. “You never came here again after the party and I thought you were mad at me. I’m sorry I couldn’t remember anything when I was drunk, but whatever I did to you, you should know that I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” Tawan says, arms sliding up to hug Thanat back. “You said you loved me, I couldn’t be mad at someone who drunk confessed to me.”

Thanat sighs and buries his face on Tawan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. You have a boyfriend, you’re in a relationship, and you’re not supposed to hear something like that.”

There’s a little pause until Tawan whispers, “I broke up with my boyfriend.”

Thanat jumps a little, “What? Was it because of me? I didn’t mean to ruin anyone’s relationship, I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s not your fault,” Tawan pulls Thanat closer when he tries to pull away. “I kept thinking about what you said to me, about how I’m supposed to be loved, and realized that I was fighting for the relationship all by myself because I didn’t want to be alone, and he didn’t actually care about me. I can’t be in a relationship if I have someone else in mind anyway, and that person said he loved me too.”

Thanat pulls away far enough to get a full view of Tawan’s face. “Then, where were you for the past four weeks?”

“I was working outside the city. I don’t have your numbers so I don’t know how to contact you.”

Right, they don’t even have each other’s numbers. The orders are so messed up.

“Okay, I guess we have a lot of things to catch up, don’t we?”

“Yes, but first,” Tawan puts on a stern expression, “you stole my kiss last time. I’m here to take it back.”

A smile blossoms on Thanat’s face as he takes Tawan’s face on his hands and leans down to kiss him. Now, the real kiss feels a hundred times better than how Thanat imagined it to be, on his sleepless nights during the past month.

“I can give you the kiss back, with interest too, if you want. I can give you anything else: my phone numbers, the passcode to my house, my car key, my present and future, you name it.”

Tawan laughs, the kind of laugh Thanat loves to hear from him. Thanat leans to kiss him again, and again, and only breaks away because Tawan can’t stop giggling against Thanat’s lips and they can’t kiss anymore.

(“I’m here to make a bouquet,” Tawan tells him, eyes sparkling bright. “Red carnation. Do you have them? Please make it super beautiful, I’ll pay the charges for the extra care.”

“I do,” Thanat says, “do you want to give it to someone special?”

“Yes,” Tawan replies, a fit of giggles slip off his mouth when Thanat grabs him by the waist and locks him within his arms. “It’s for someone special, to make sure he’ll stay with me for a long, long time.”

“He can promise you that,” whispers Thanat. “Because all he wants is to come home to you, after all.”)

**Author's Note:**

> (light) red carnation means admiration and (dark) red carnation means deep love and affection, the bouquet Tay asked for is a combination of both. lol.
> 
> writing them is so fun I love leetay T_____________T
> 
> till we meet again,  
> tami


End file.
